This is the easiest one I have written from this book so far.
I was dating for two years. Numerous times for various reasons I felt like I should break up with her. I had broken up with other women I had dated or didn’t go out again after a few dates. I knew if probably upset some women and maybe relieved others.
It was different this time. She might have been the first person other than a family member to tell me she loves me. It was fairly quickly only about three weeks after we started dating. Some would say that’s too soon. Some say they know instantly.
I’ve had to learn through some very difficult times that we cannot judge what works best for others. Every time I thought about ending the relationship all I could think about is what would it do to her? I used to ask her how she would feel is something happened to me. Her answer was always devastated.
I couldn’t stand the thought of hurting her. It took me years before I realized how deep my love was for her. All I knew at that time was that my feelings for her and not wanting to be the one to cause her pain was something I could not get past.
It’s often talked about what the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. This will be analyzed for infinity. No one can truly know.
After we had been dating for about 18 months I was given an ultimatum that we had to be engaged by our anniversary or it was over. I wasnt sure I was ready.
At the time we began dating, there was another woman I had waited for two years to ask out. We went out once with a group of mutual friends for drinks at the beginning of the relationship I had with my then girlfriend.
I wasn’t unsure if my girlfriend was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. It felt more about not wanting to be without her then wanting to be with her.
There were countless red flags. Her mother (who I got along with for the most part) heard a rumor I was adopted and instead of coming to me or my parents told her daughter. It took a year of therapy for my eventual wife to talk to my mother about it.
Her family treated me and my family extremely poorly. Her sister took offense to everything and often of petty disagreements. I was once kicked out of a family event of their’s because of money I supposedly owed.
I took the leap of faith to ask her to marry me. I always figured once we got married that she would realize what we have should come before anyone else. It never did, often in difficult times, she put everyone else in her life first.