As we grow old we all evolve based on our based on our past experiences. One persons eccentricity could be another person’s normal.
A few before she passed away when she was in here early nineties my grandmother told me she was too old to change. we all change everyday. We might continue to do the same things react the same way but we are very infrequently the same person.
I’ve learned a lot through tragedy and loss. It’s taught me to dislike acts not people. I’ve never been one to have a lot of people who are close to me. Struggling with significant anxiety and what has been clinically diagnosed as mild depression seem to push many people away.
The difficult irony is that I crave connection and love. Having others I am close to and that understand me is important in my life. I thought I found that with my wife, but she always put everyone else first.
Our children were very young when my wife became ill. It brought us much closer together as she healed. Many others and even people I did not expect to question my parenting style and abilities.
I focused on her getting healthy and taking care of the children. I let anyone into our lives at the time who would be willing to help.
Taking a look from the outside in it seems as if many consider me to be difficult. I view that as just another way of others viewing someone as eccentric.
In addition to connection with others I also talk a lot. It seems as we age we all become eccentric in our own ways. People that are perceived as mean can become nicer and vice versa.
Many people look at an elderly single woman as eccentric in many ways. People often used to say that batty old woman. How does that apply to men? I hate being alone now and am afraid that is the way my life will continue.
People who treat me with a lack of respect make me batty. I was at a group seminar where the leader of the group was discussing people who are creepy. Given time to reflect it felt like she was implying this of me and a one other person who was in attendance.
Is creepiness one thing to some and eccentricity to others? The one thing I hope to achieve in my “old age” is a better understanding and love of myself. If that’s being eccentric and/or batty and going in another direction, at least I would be comfortable in my own skin.