Most of us hope to find ever lasting love in our lives. We give our hearts and hope that our partner gives theirs to us equally.
Ever since I was 12 I wanted to find love and raise a family together. It took a long time and a bit of letting my guard down before I did. I remember thinking to myself before I went on my first date with my ex that I was just going to enjoy myself and not have any expectations of what could occur beyond one date.
Our first year was amazing. She took an interest in things I was into and my family. Her family treated me well for the most part within that first year. Family was important to both of us and we were important to each other.
Things changed at 15 months. In a dispute between me and her family she took their side. It was a difference of opinion that would have easily been worked out. This instance should have been a huge red flag.
It set the tone for our relationship. There was never a thing her family could ever do wrong. She protected them every time something would occur between me and her family.
They spread a rumor I was adopted, one of her family members tried to choke me and she said if I went to the police shed divorce me and her family often disrespected my family. It never mattered.
During an illness she had that drastically altered her life she said “don’t make me choose (meaning between her family and me). My response was “I think you already have”
We frequently argued and she would often, if not always refer to her family or my family and I would always respond “I don’t care about my family or your family I care about our family.”
She would often leave at times when I and/or our children needed her. She would be out with her friends, her mom, her sister or off to see someone else’s children play a sport or in a performance.
I take plenty of blame for the collapse of our relationship, the one thing I will never understand is how someone who put so much effort in taking an interest put the interest of everyone else in her life above what we created together.