How does one define winning an argument. My father has never admitted he’s ever wrong with anything involving me. I can only remember twice hearing complements from him.
I need Peabody’s Wayback Machine. It’s hard to remember a specific argument that I felt I was in the right that felt like a victory. Father is a very confident self-assured person. I’m the complete opposite. Confidence, self-esteem and being self-assured are inner turmoils I’ve fought my entire life.
I can think of a few times with my father that it took a third person to assure me that I was the one who was right in a disagreement.
My father came from a generation of parents who lived through the Great Depression. My paternal grandmother was a very tough woman. She has a difficult time getting along with others and was very tough on my father and his siblings.
She more than my grandfather made him into the person he is. He always looked up to her and it seemed as if she could do no wrong. I am lot sure how my father is towards others but it usually felt like I could do no right. Add on top of that my mom would protect everyone else and the times of feeling like I would “win” an argument with him are very small.
That doesn’t mean I felt internally that I was doing the wrong thing. His biggest criticisms would usually involve my parenting style.My style is far more hands on than he is. I’m also encouraging and not discouraging to my kids.
I learned to just withdraw from him and to a much lesser extent from my mother. Not have the argument and constantly being told what I am doing wrong just wasn’t worth it.