The is the easiest and clearest of all my posts. Sometimes it takes a life-changing event to make us see life more clearly.
Life is easiest for me when I am able to focus on what is directly in front of me. I am better at the tasks that require immediate attention. Taking care of children, do laundry, cooking meals and getting things done that require immediate attention.
My ex and I had a very passionate relationship. That meant extremes in our relationship. We very much seemed to have a love-hate relationship. When she had an illness that caused her to become paralyzed it made me realize how much I really did love her and how stupid much of our fighting was.
I stood by her as she was hospitalized for over half a year. She then moved in with family. I was not going to be allowed to see her without her family in our presence. I later said to her that needs to chance. It is not a marriage if we cannot be alone.
That began the process of her filing for divorce. I was able to accept that she did not want to be together anymore. I had hoped for our children we could make this amicable. I wanted to try and use a mediator. Her brother in law “volunteered” to be the mediator. His profession in computers he had no experience as a mediator.
After I had gotten some things in court early in the divorce that upset her, she hired a new attorney. She never stopped attacking my character. The truth and well being of our children ceased to matter. What began to matter was them getting control.
After a nearly three-year battle, she gained custody of our children. Almost two years after that she went after my house and the judge awarded it to her. This was in spite of the fact she has never been in it and that I bought it after we were legally separated.
Losing my children, facing the possibility of having no place to live and having this come from the woman I spent over ten years loving is the meanest thing, someone has ever done to me.
I have seen many other friends and acquaintances that have suffered at the hands of their ex with the help of the courts. Not too many things are more ugly than divorce. It destroys lives and families. It breaks my heart to see children and others have to suffer with a lot of assistance from the courts.
The judiciary branch of government is supposed to protect people, not destroy their life.