Prompt 80: That girl/guy in high school that made you insanely jealous…what about them?

There was not one person, male or female that made me at all jealous in high school that I can remember.

What I was jealous or envious about was that I wanted to be able to date, have a girlfriend and be among the popular students.

This continued through college but to a lesser extent. Although I am outgoing and talk a lot I am also painfully shy. Approaching someone I don’t know, getting involved with a group or people I don’t know or being assertive give fuel to my anxiety.

Whether it had been or is at a singles or networking event, I am often the wallflower. Approaching someone without an introduction or knowing what to say is terrifying to me.

The general jealousy I have and had in high school is people that were and are far more successful than me, are successful and have the things that I want or aspire.

I have never felt comfortable in my own skin. I am envious of people who are. My oldest struggles with that a lot. His sister who is nearly three and a half years younger is almost completely the opposite.

I have never met anyone more innately confident, assertive, comfortable in their own skin and fearless as my oldest daughter. She completely believes in herself and there is nothing in her mind she cannot do.

In high school, the people I was jealous of were those that had a lot of friends, were successful athletically and in other extra circular activities, had the confidence to ask girls out and were invited to parties.

I have felt like an outsider in most situations and groups throughout most of my life. With few exceptions, I don’t fit into many groups. Even within my own family, I am the outsider.

Awkwardness and not fitting in is increasingly becoming more accepted. Celebrating differences will help those that are not rich, successful, heterosexual people that are married with families, or those that don’t fit into what we view as “normal” in high school.

By celebrating these differences, hopefully, no one will ever have to feel insanely jealous of someone else in high school or at any age.

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