Prompt 105: A time you’ve been ashamed of yourself

The time I was ashamed of myself was when I was arrested for trying to reason with a utility worker who came to my house.

One of our utilities was turned off. I thought my then wife had paid the bill and she thought I did. A woman came to our house to reinstate the utility. When she went to turn it back on, she said she was unable to do so.

I tried to reason with the woman. I closed the door to my house and asked the woman can’t we work this out. She called her dispatcher. I immediately opened the door and let her out.

I said some things I now regret. After calling her dispatcher, the police were notified. They came to my house and I was charged with keeping the woman against her will. The entire thing was 30 seconds.

It is something that changed the course of my life. My eventual conviction has kept me from finding work, played a major role in the end of my marriage and likely cost me custody of my children.

One 30 second mistake has influenced the remainder of my life. We all have things in our life we are embarrassed or ashamed of. Many or most don’t have to have it have a major impact on the rest of their life going forward.

I wish potential employers, romantic interests, and the court could look past my mistake. I regret it tremendously. I did not hurt anyone. I hope if someone commits the same mistake in the future they will not be judged as harshly as I was.

We often judge people based on a piece of paper. One action in our life should not define us as a person. We should be judged by the entire sum of our actions throughout our lifetime.

I hope that in the future this will be the case.

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Prompt 101: You get three do-overs what would they be?

I tend to be a very reflective person that is often full of regret. 
Having gone through a vicious divorce I could say I regret the relationship. What I truly wish I could do over wa how the relationship evolved.
I’ve frequently discussed my dream of getting married, having children and raising a family together. All those dreams were realized. 

What we didn’t no how to do was co-exist in a relationship. Having a do-over and truly lending what made each other happy to thrive in our marriage is something I think about almost everyday. Our children have spent a good portion of their lives going through hell. 

Both families were far too involved in our marriage. I begged her to move to another state. It would preferably been Florida or Arizona. We had family and friends in each state. My do-over would be to go some place to live and focus on the family we created.

It never seemed to be about that though. She said she couldn’t do that to her sister, mother and friends. Like in that order. Sadly it felt like being married to dozens of people and lot just one. I would have done more to make her happy an try and put her first. Hopefully that would have made our relationship better. 

My second do over would be when I volunteered at the World Cup soccer in 1994. I was fortunate enough to volunteer on the field for the opening ceremonies and first game. 

I worked in the office for two months prior to everything opening up. I was asked to be the volunteer coordinator. I was nervous I’d screw up and never get another chance at something like that. 

In reality the opposite happened. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity succeed or fail. Had I done well my entire career and subsequently my life might have gone in another direction. 

As it was I had a great experience, but nothing that led to anything that gave me opportunities I hoped to get as a result of volunteering. 

My final do-over would be when I got in some trouble over a quarrel with a utility worker. I said something I regret did something I should not have done that will impact me the rest of my life. 

It did not involve any physical harm but it is not something I am proud of. I feel very misinderood over what happens and wish I could change my actions. It’s something that will always follow me and not something I can presently change. 

Prompt 81: If you lived in the right era for you, what era would you live in?

I live in the right era now. I wish I was 20-25 years younger.

I love writing, which is I have undertaken this project to finish the 642 Things to Write about Me. I have been a blogger for over 15 years. I have always wondered if I had been younger how my life would be different.

I have frequently discussed my shyness. It had prevented me from doing so many things. The advent of the internet has allowed me to be able to reach out to people in a much more modern way.

How would my life be different if the internet had been around when I was growing up? I envy children who are now able to vlog/blog and use social media to get noticed. It seems that most of the people who do get noticed are young.

Would I have broken out of my shell if I had been younger? I was on the school newspaper in Junior High and published my fraternity’s newsletter in college.

If blogging, social media, and the internet, in general, had been around when I was young it would have been much easier for me to connect to others. I feel much more comfortable reaching out to others through email and social media than I do in a more traditional sense.

I have always wondered if I had come of age coinciding with the age of the internet would opportunities presented themselves more? Would have been writing more consistently from an early age? Would I have networked with more people? How would being able to reach out to others via social media and other online platforms have affected my social and dating life?

It’s often said it’s never too late in life. How much is that exactly is exactly true? When we get an earlier start it can start the clock on many other things. I’ve lived a lot of my life with regrets and wondering what if.

My thought process seems to think back a lot. How much more successful could I have been in every aspect of my life if I had been brought up in a more digital age? I have frequently spoken about how my anxiety has greatly affected my life. I will always wonder how

I will always wonder how and if my anxiety would have and could have been decreased being much younger in the digital age. Many of us probably think about how our lives could have been different if we lived in a different era. All we can try to do is to make the best of the era we live in.

Prompt 64: Write a Note to the Candidate who just got your job, telling them why it’s the worst job in the world and they shouldn’t even consider taking it.

In my job I am on my own. As someone who is self-employed I am on my own for insurance. I usually work alone and seldom have face to face contact with others.

The flexibility is great, but the having to be alone most of the time is some that is very difficult. I am often on the road getting stuck in traffic, or home on the computer for hours at a time without talking to another human being. It can be emotionally taxing work without enough financial reward.

Because the position is self-employed, I am required to front all of my expenses. I contact potential clients, go to networking events and connect with others online. Nothing I do seems to be enough to retain or acquire clients.

The constant rejection is often tiring and makes it difficult to have the drive to succeed each day. It can often make you wonder what you have to do to be successful.

Connecting with other people is vital for any business or freelancer. It can often be defeatist when new clients and jobs do not come through. If you want security its better to find a more steady job.

Prompt 63: Write a Job Listing for your Current Job, making it sound as awesome as possible

Job Opening: Blogger wanted to cover your favorite sports team or TV Show.

Are you passionate about your favorite sports team and/or TV Show and want to write about it? Sports and Pop Culture Fans is looking for writers for most of its websites to cover your favorite sports fan and/or your favorite TV show.

The hours are flexible and the job is remote. You can work on your own time and where ever you want. The ability to set your own hours and be able to work from anywhere will give you the flexibility to be able to enjoy the other things you like to do in your life.

The job also requires interacting with other fans of the team or show that you are representing. This requires a presence on social media, writing articles and your site having at least 50 posts per month.

You will be counted on as an expert for your knowledge and passion in your area of expertise. If you can handle more than one outlet you will be provided with the opportunity to grow within the company.

The company offers a lot of support, camaraderie and potential to grow in the publishing industry.

Prompt 56: What’s Something People Do You Think Should Be Outlawed?

This can be such a broad reaching question. There is a reason that the first amendment is largely freedom of speech. That said, The excess to which hate speech and hate crimes are on the rise is troubling. 

The proliferation of social media and the last presidential election cycle have brought to light the amount of hate there is in United States.

Are we doing enough to curb hate speech and hate crime? Where should it start and where should it end? The United States was built on freedom of speech. It’s one of the most important tenets of the bill of rights.

Freedom of speech has it limits though. You can’t yell fire in a theater, you can’t threaten people and you cannot say thing that would damage someone’s reputation that is untrue.

The proliferation of social media has made all of our opinions more public. It’s also had to hate spreading much quicker. Being able to outlaw hate although extremely complex could help to curb a lot of what is currently going n in the United States currently.

It’s permeated seemingly into everything we do. The 2016 president election seemed to be run on hate. Is it a microcosm of society or did the hate grow from the campaign. The answer is likely both.

If we are truly “going to make America great again” getting rid of hate and promoting others to be able to understand our differences and celebrate our similarities.

People are beginning to be held accountable in their jobs for various social media rants. Companies are be held too much higher standards in regards to social responsibility.

The next step is society. Where do we draw the line. Not allowing people to speak their opinions as long as their actions doesn’t match their hate filled speech is a dangerous slope. Which way do we go?

If it’s a prominent public figure a lot of what they say and do can incite others to act on hate. How do we regulate that? Figuring that out as we evolve as a society is going to be important to improve as a global as well as a domestic society.

Prompt 53: What thing do you still think of as “for grown-ups” and not for you-even though you are a grown up now? 

The thing I think of as for grown ups and not for me is when I see someone in a position of a lot of authority. 

A CEO, politician, or Sports administrator almost seems foreign to me. There are so many things I wanted to do with my life. Not the first two, but I see people much younger than I am doing things that I wanted to do and it’s difficult.

I’m still young enough to be able to have success in various areas, I just have to alter my wants and dreams.

When we are growing up we all want to do it fast, then when we get there most of us want to go back to being children.

The reality of being an adult and the things we get to do is far different from what our hopes and dreams are.

The everyday realities of work, domestic chores errands being in a relationship and/or the end of a relationship can take an emotional toll.

Some get to live a life they hoped for an others struggle. How much support do those that struggle get? How genuine are those around them? What do we truly get out of life?

When we get older do we still remember to enjoy ourselves as much as when we are children? It’s ok to act silly and have fun like children do while still being an adult.

One of the other things I’ve struggled with my whole life that has also spilled into adulthood is with organization. Keeping things where they should be and being able to prioritize is something I am constantly working on.

What is truly for grownups anyway and what isn’t? That can often depend on who you ask.