Prompt 99: What you know of your family’s history all told, is it a gift to you or a curse? Defend your arguments.

Prompt 99: What you know of your family’s history all told, is it a gift to you or a curse? Defend your arguments.

Beyond my Grandparents, I do not know much about my family’s history. Living in my father’s shadow has been a gift and a curse.

My father has been successful throughout his life. He is a highly accomplished athlete and was very successful for over 30 years in finance.

My mother always said that he did everything he could to shield us from competition. It was still difficult growing wanting to be as successful as he was. I wanted to reach the things he did or at least the goals I had set for myself.

My parents have been married for 52 years. I have dreamt almost my entire life of getting married and raising a family with a woman I could be close with. Someone to share ideals, ethics, a mutual physical and emotional relationship.,

I knew from a young age what I wanted to do for a career. My career never materialized. My father wanted me to go into finance like he did. One of my brothers did and is doing very well. I tried but it felt like I did have the right mind for it.

Although my father did what he could to steer us away from certain things, he is also very judgemental. He has certain ideas about how people should live life. He often does not understand people who are not like him.

He is extroverted, assertive and athletic. Anyone that is more introverted, not as athletic and that might struggle with physical or mental impairments he doesn’t seem to relate to.

I was diagnosed with dyslexia at a fairly young age. I learned I had ADHD soon after finishing college and anxiety and depression much later. My father would call me sweetness growing up in a sarcastic nod to my fluctuating moods. My mother would call me a martyr or tell me I was saying woe as me. In actuality, it was me dealing with my depression and anxiety.

Almost everything in life internally has been difficult for me. I have struggled with the issues mentioned above. Those have hindered me in almost every way. I have struggled with work and relationships.

I have held three or four jobs for two years or more since being finished with college. Others ones have often not worked out. Dating is a frequent struggled. My marriage was a constant battle.

Dating is a frequent struggle. My marriage was a constant battle. We dated for two years before getting married. We were married nine and a half years when she filed for divorce. The longest relationship I was in other than with her was two and half months.

Since she filed for separation nearly five years ago the most I have been out with one woman was four times in a three-month span.

My entire family beyond my father and siblings are high achievers. It feels like I have to expend a lot of energy just to get through a day. My sister told me that everyone goes through depression and I just have to get through it.

On the whole, because of my family’s lack of understanding me and their level of achievement versus my lack of it, my family’s history and success are more of a curse than a gift.

 

 

Prompt One: Letter to a Teacher Asking for Help

The first prompt is “Write a letter to a teacher (or coach) who made a difference in your life asking him or her for help. What are you asking for? Why?

Dear C

I am writing to you to help me get through what has been a devastating five and half years. I’ve suffered through tremendous tragedy and loss. A lot of this was my own undoing and other aspects were out of my control. crime, a medical tragedy, divorce and a vicious custody has left me a shell of myself, whatever that was.

I’ve lost the most important people in my life. I’ve had to hit a major reset button on my own life. I have done a lot of reflecting, re-evaluating and deep soul-searching to figure myself out. As I look back on my life I’ve always struggled getting things done, questioned my purpose in life and have had low self-esteem. As mental health issues become more accepted I know that anxiety and depression are big reasons for my struggles.

I have always searched for answers about myself and who I might be and who I am. I’ve been told I have ADHD, depression and anxiety. Its been doubted if I have bi-polar. Could I be Bi-Polar II? I’ve never had an extreme manic episode or anything that would approach paranoia or schizophrenia.

I need someone to help me find a good psychologist, psychiatrist, mental health professional or anyone else that can help get me to a place where I can learn the tools I need to get to a better place to become a more productive member of society. I want to be happy, to be able to find work that allows me to become more successful and self-reliant.

You’re leadership and mentorship have played a huge part in my life and have put me in a good place for the few times in my life I’ve felt good about myself. You are one of the few people in my life that do not judge me, that believes in me and that accepts me unconditionally.

I really need to be able to get to a professional that can give me the right tools to get me to a healthy place mentally.

I really appreciate anything you can do.

Sincerely, 642