Prompt 108: What’s the Biggest Letdown you can’t let go of?

The biggest letdown I cannot let go of is my the battles in my divorce. It’s the nightmare that keeps on giving.

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The biggest letdown I cannot let go of is my the battles in my divorce. It’s the nightmare that keeps on giving.

Nearly six years ago, my ex-wife became paralyzed from an illness. Eleven months later she filed for divorce. Nearly three years after that she got custody of our children. About two more years and the judge awarded her my house I bought when we were legally separated. At the time I had custody of our children.

In the nearly four years from the time of her illness her family got power of attorney over her, worked with her to file for divorce, got custody of the children and now my house. I am beyond devastated. Having my own house was the last thing I had of comfort.

Being at home has provided me more than shelter. It’s a place I can call my own. I love my neighborhood, town and the deck I have in the backyard. I have sat outside often this summer to write. On a beautiful summer day, it’s really nice to be able to do that.

I wrote earlier this week on my other personal blog about being numb. Her family, specifically her sister and brother-in-law seemingly won’t stop until they get everything and I am destroyed.

I do not know where I will live. No one in my ex’s family has even stepped foot in my house much less lived her. It’s hard to understand what the judge and the court system are thinking. Those close to me feel the same. The one word I have frequently used throughout the divorce process is illogical. That applies to many if not most divorce cases.

I have lost everything important to me. I don’t know what I will do next. I currently work part time in two jobs. I do courier work and always am looking for more clients. I also am a blogger.

I’ve thought about where my life will lead me next. I have never been comfortable in my own shoes. My lack of self-esteem likely hurt my marriage. I have been able to accept the end of the relationship. Everything else involving the divorce has crushed my mental health.

Losing my children and now my house makes me shake my head. I am just not sure where, when, what and how my life will hold next. It astonishes me how many divorces are more about vengeance than what’s best for the children and/or just moving on and being able to begin the next phase of your life.

 

Prompt 73: What was the meanest thing somebody has said or done to you?

The is the easiest and clearest of all my posts. Sometimes it takes a life-changing event to make us see life more clearly.

Life is easiest for me when I am able to focus on what is directly in front of me. I am better at the tasks that require immediate attention. Taking care of children, do laundry, cooking meals and getting things done that require immediate attention.

My ex and I had a very passionate relationship. That meant extremes in our relationship. We very much seemed to have a love-hate relationship. When she had an illness that caused her to become paralyzed it made me realize how much I really did love her and how stupid much of our fighting was.

I stood by her as she was hospitalized for over half a year. She then moved in with family. I was not going to be allowed to see her without her family in our presence. I later said to her that needs to chance. It is not a marriage if we cannot be alone.

That began the process of her filing for divorce. I was able to accept that she did not want to be together anymore. I had hoped for our children we could make this amicable. I wanted to try and use a mediator. Her brother in law “volunteered” to be the mediator. His profession in computers he had no experience as a mediator.

After I had gotten some things in court early in the divorce that upset her, she hired a new attorney. She never stopped attacking my character. The truth and well being of our children ceased to matter. What began to matter was them getting control.

After a nearly three-year battle, she gained custody of our children. Almost two years after that she went after my house and the judge awarded it to her. This was in spite of the fact she has never been in it and that I bought it after we were legally separated.

Losing my children, facing the possibility of having no place to live and having this come from the woman I spent over ten years loving is the meanest thing, someone has ever done to me.

I have seen many other friends and acquaintances that have suffered at the hands of their ex with the help of the courts. Not too many things are more ugly than divorce. It destroys lives and families. It breaks my heart to see children and others have to suffer with a lot of assistance from the courts.

The judiciary branch of government is supposed to protect people, not destroy their life.