Prompt 99: What you know of your family’s history all told, is it a gift to you or a curse? Defend your arguments.

Prompt 99: What you know of your family’s history all told, is it a gift to you or a curse? Defend your arguments.

Beyond my Grandparents, I do not know much about my family’s history. Living in my father’s shadow has been a gift and a curse.

My father has been successful throughout his life. He is a highly accomplished athlete and was very successful for over 30 years in finance.

My mother always said that he did everything he could to shield us from competition. It was still difficult growing wanting to be as successful as he was. I wanted to reach the things he did or at least the goals I had set for myself.

My parents have been married for 52 years. I have dreamt almost my entire life of getting married and raising a family with a woman I could be close with. Someone to share ideals, ethics, a mutual physical and emotional relationship.,

I knew from a young age what I wanted to do for a career. My career never materialized. My father wanted me to go into finance like he did. One of my brothers did and is doing very well. I tried but it felt like I did have the right mind for it.

Although my father did what he could to steer us away from certain things, he is also very judgemental. He has certain ideas about how people should live life. He often does not understand people who are not like him.

He is extroverted, assertive and athletic. Anyone that is more introverted, not as athletic and that might struggle with physical or mental impairments he doesn’t seem to relate to.

I was diagnosed with dyslexia at a fairly young age. I learned I had ADHD soon after finishing college and anxiety and depression much later. My father would call me sweetness growing up in a sarcastic nod to my fluctuating moods. My mother would call me a martyr or tell me I was saying woe as me. In actuality, it was me dealing with my depression and anxiety.

Almost everything in life internally has been difficult for me. I have struggled with the issues mentioned above. Those have hindered me in almost every way. I have struggled with work and relationships.

I have held three or four jobs for two years or more since being finished with college. Others ones have often not worked out. Dating is a frequent struggled. My marriage was a constant battle.

Dating is a frequent struggle. My marriage was a constant battle. We dated for two years before getting married. We were married nine and a half years when she filed for divorce. The longest relationship I was in other than with her was two and half months.

Since she filed for separation nearly five years ago the most I have been out with one woman was four times in a three-month span.

My entire family beyond my father and siblings are high achievers. It feels like I have to expend a lot of energy just to get through a day. My sister told me that everyone goes through depression and I just have to get through it.

On the whole, because of my family’s lack of understanding me and their level of achievement versus my lack of it, my family’s history and success are more of a curse than a gift.

 

 

Prompt 51: What Relative are you Most Similar? Describe Your Similarities. 

The relative to whom I am most alike is my son. 

My son and I have an amazing amount of similar traits. Anxiety has been a huge of my life. I was always nervous around the opposite sex and would cower about approaching a woman in a bar, at a party or asking a woman out that I already knew.

I’ve frequently said that I am afraid of my own shadow. My son has many of the same things I struggle with. His shadow is afraid of its shadow. He doesn’t like to take chances and is very guarded in what he does. Even playing soccer he would get nervous when the ball came near him.

In addition to anxiety we both struggle with attention issues and have bleeding disorder. We are both very compassionate, loyal,  wrong and have many of the same interests.

A few years ago I took my kids sledding. My son would not go down by himself. He waited for adult to go down with him on the sled. My daughter who was five and at the time and is fearless took the sled and not only went down by herself, but did it head first.

I hope that as he gets older my son will be able to get past his issues better than I have.

Prompt 18: Who was the hardest person in your life to forgive? How did you do it?

I think of this as the most unlikely, not the hardest.

There was always a lot of conscientiousness between by wife’s family and my family. When she faced a life threatening illness it only increased everything because of the stress of the situation having to be together a great deal more than usual

Her sister and brother-in-law never treated me or my family so any respect. Her. Sister threw things at my parents and constantly made comments about my family when they were not around.

Her illness clarified a lot for me. It made realize how much I loved her, taught me to hate someone’s actions but not necessarily the person, and that a time of crisis is not a time for grudges or revenge

With my wife’s life in question, I went to my sister-in-law and said to her “we had some big decisions we might have to make that no one should have to make alone”. We agreed that we would be making the Decisions about her health together.

I should have known better based on pat history and events. We had discussed where condolence calls would be made if she passed away and she told me she wanted to be the tone to make decisions.

I chose to take the high road. That was something I had not always done in the past. Less than two months into her illness her sister and her best friends worked together to get power of attorney behind my back.

I trusted her in a time I am not sure I should have. All I wanted at the time was for my wife to get better and to take care of our children. Unfortunately her sister and siblings always had their own agendas preceded anything that mattered got the family we had created.

 

Prompt 12: Describe an Accident You’ve Been in. Were you at fault? Who was? What Excuses Were Made? What Were the Lasting Consequences?

We all make mistakes in life and most of us are involved in accidents of some sort. Most accidents hopefully involve material things that’s can be replaced.

I tend to be absent-minded and mistake prone. Things often seem to happen to me that might not happen to others. I’ve been in numerous car accidents throughout his my life, lose things easily and seem to have things break.

Throughout my only term relationship this seemed to happen often. I spilled tea once on her laptop and lost her necklace that she had custom-made, I think overseas. When she was sick our daughter by accident broke a plate she had made with our son.

He got really upset with his sister. Although it cannot be replaced, a new one can be bought or made.

Accidents and mistakes can almost be used interchangeably as words. Things at are said decisions we make can cause far more long-term damage than an accident.

About 18 months into out relationship, my then girlfriend’s sister invited my entire family over for the holidays. Her was insulted my by brother’s wife which seemed to s off a family funded that might last for eternity.

It was followed about six months later (at which points were engaged) by my mother not attended a family function for my fiancé’s sister. This is the same sister who would begin to hold a grudge against my family and constantly make negative comments about them.

This caused a lot of consternation around the planning of our wedding how we should plan the birth of our first child and basically raise them in general and aunt other decisions we were to make seemingly had to go through her sister.

The biggest lasting damage it caused it that it put our children in the middle.

Prompt Number Eight: What’s the One Thing No One Believes You Can Remember

There are two things in my life I can remember that my family says are not true.

The first was when I was applying to college. I wanted to got to a private school that was located where I have a lot of family. Another school I was looking at was located in a different part of the country in a city I was completely unfamiliar with.

The that is located where we have family is a private school. The school I was looking at in the unfamiliar city is public school. The private school was twice the cost of the public school. They were fairly even academically at the time.

My mother said to me at the time if I wanted to go to the public I would have to make up said to me at the time that if I wanted to go to the private school I would have to make up the difference in cost.

My youngest siblings wound up going to two of the most expensive schools in the country. I wound up being happy with my “choice”after a rough beginning.

The other thing that is denied that I can remember revolved around my father’s birthday. My parents invited my siblings and I plus our spouses over one year the night before my father’s birthday to celebrate. The night before was to be his birthday celebration.

The night of my father’s actual birthday I was the only child that did not have dinner with them. My mom as she usually does made up some story to protect everyone else and deny that it happened.

To this day both of these are denied by mother as existing.